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Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Change Your Mood, Change Your Life

How To Train Yourself To Be In The Mood You Want

When you have major changes going on in your life, or you’re just frustrated about where you are, it’s easy to get trapped in a cycle of depression, bad moods and frustration. I know, I’ve been there … and when I’m not careful, I still get there more than I want to.
But lately I’ve had a particularly hard time, as I make some major (positive) changes in my life. I hit these moments where I’m in a foul mood, or I’m just feeling paralyzed, and I’m just stuck. Sometimes I just stew in that and stay there, but sometimes I actually get intelligent and pull my way out of it..
I’m going to outline the framework that I’ve been using over the last 30 days to really get myself resourceful and motivated (and in a better mood) when I’m feeling stuck. Hopefully it will help you, too, and if you do I truly hope you’ll share it with others.

First Up: Using A Framework to Escape From Paralyzing Emotions
When we feel bad, it’s hard to “feel good” again. You can’t just wish yourself better, and when you’re in a stuck place, you don’t generally have the mental energy to pull out. Willpower doesn’t help, and “positive thinking” sure as hell doesn’t help. But falling back on a framework of steps does help, because we humans function well when we have a set of steps to follow..
The reason for this is that steps take the emotion out of our situation and give us direction to simply act. Duck and Cover. Stop, Drop, and Roll. When you know with certainty what to do next, you’re in a much stronger position to take action, even when you’re panicking. (And it doesn’t have to be words, either – just think of Lamaze breathing, which expectant mothers practice well ahead of time so they can slip back into it during the stress of labor.)
You can call these verbal step-by-step tools anchors if you want, because they’re ways to anchor your emotional state to a time where you knew what to do and you felt prepared. So I’m going to lay out a framework that you can use as your own anchor when you need to reset your mood, and while it’s seven steps long, it’s hella effective at getting the job done.
The seven steps form the acronym ACT FAST, and I picked that because I felt that it was a pretty empowering term as it forces you to presuppose you have a workable course of action. So let’s dive in.
A: AGREE With Yourself That You Don’t Want To Be In This Mood Right Now.
This seems hokey, but it’s important for this reason: Once you agree with yourself that this is not the right mood for you, you’re revoking permission to stew in your own juices and keep the “pity party” going. Think about it: When we’re mad, the thing we hate the most is when someone tries to cheer us up, because on some level we want to be mad and stay mad, or be depressed and stay depressed.
And that’s not always a bad thing. Maybe we want to stay sad because on some level we know we need to hang out in this mental state and really look at what’s making us sad, to really connect with it and deal with it instead of pretending it doesn’t exist. Maybe we want to stay mad because we’re not finished processing our emotions and figuring out what our situation means and what we’re going to do about it..
So don’t take this as me saying “man up and stop crying.” What I am saying is that at some point if you want to move forward in a functional way, and not feel paralyzed, you need to agree that this stage of emotion has to be finite, it has to come to an end so you can deal with the solution that the emotion demands of you. When you’re ready to deal with it, you agree with yourself that you’re ready to shift gears.
Let’s say you’ve lost your job and you’re freaking out about what to do. You could tell yourself something like, “Okay, I’m ready to stop being scared of this situation now.” Then you move on to the second step.
C: CLARIFY The Mood or Emotion You Want To Move Towards.
Now that you’re ready to change, you need to make sure that you know where you’re headed so you have something you can focus on. It’s not enough to say “I just don’t want to feel this way anymore,” because then you’re still swimming in the Sea of What You Don’t Want.
You need to have a focus.
It could be as simple as defining the mood you want to be in with a single word or two. Resourceful. Confident. Infectiously Happy. Stable. Calm. Controlled. Helpful. Pleasant. Civil. Generous. Whatever it is, you need to give it a name.
Then you combine it with the last thought, so you can tell yourself something like “I’m ready to stop feeling scared and start feeling resourceful.”
There’s nothing magical about these words, and again, it’s not positive thinking. This is all about creating something you can say to yourself to pull the emotion out of your mental state and focus on what you can do next and what you can influence.
When you start getting scattered and lose track of where you are, and you’re stressing, you can fall back on your statement: “I’m ready to stop feeling scared and start feeling resourceful.” You’re putting yourself back in control and you’re ready for the next step.
T: TAKE Responsibility For Taking Immediate Action.
Now that you know what you want to move away from and what you want to move towards, it’s time to face reality: It ain’t gonna happen unless you make it happen. You’re going to have to consciously accept responsibility for getting yourself in a better state.
This is a big deal, because it means that you‘re going to have to revoke permission to blame other people so you can do this. Note that I’m not saying that you’re absolving other people of blame – if someone just screwed you over, then they’re still at fault, and you don’t pretend that didn’t happen.
But focusing on that is not going to help you get to your desired emotional state. You have to take full responsibility for what thoughts you’re going to focus on and what attitudes you’re going to reinforce, because no one is going to do it. No one is coming to your rescue.
You want out of this emotion? You’re going to have to do it yourself. the good news is you totally can do it yourself, and we’re going to cover that in the next four steps so you can get there.
So now our statement to ourselves gets a little longer – it’s something like, “I’m ready to stop feeling scared and start feeling resourceful, and I’m going to make that happen right now.”
We’re going to move into four questions right now, and you’ll need to memorize them so you can get yourself back on track instantly when you’re backsliding into the emotional state you don’t want to be in.
F: “What Would I Need To FOCUS On To Feel this Way?”
This question is a really empowering one, because it forces you to stop thinking about the things that are draining you and gets you to acknowledge that there are things you can focus on that will give you more mental and emotional energy.
When you ask yourself this question, you’re putting yourself on the spot – you’re saying, “Hey, if I wanted to feel resourceful (for this job loss example), what would I need to focus on?” You’re presupposing the answer is available to you rather than saying “How do I get out of this funk?”, which is an open ended question that invites an “I dunno …” response.
Think about it. If you were feeling resourceful in this job loss situation – imagine that you were for a second – what would you be focusing on in order to feel resourceful? Would you be thinking of all your contacts and references, about renewing old work relationships?
Would you be taking stock of all the online job boards, or maybe sites like LinkedIn? Or would you be revisiting your skills and experience and seeing if another career would be more fun?
Ask yourself this question, and write down the answers. You’ll need that written note to look back on when the painful emotion you’re moving away from resurfaces. Have a written library of answers to this question and you can benefit from it when you’re feeling emotionally unable to conjure up answers later.
Sometimes the answer can be external as well. The first part of my career was spent in software testing, and that’s some boring stuff. It’s frustrating to test the same thing 100 times and not feel totally unmotivated. But I’d focus on something external – like the road trip I was going to take with this week’s pay – and that would keep me going.
In one case I was testing training Army courseware for avoiding/disarming landmines, and after the 1,000th retest I was so bored out of my skull I wanted to scream. But I told myself that if I focused on testing it until it was 100% ready, then it would save people’s lives in the field. Someone’s Dad would be coming home because they didn’t trip a landmine or trigger a roadside bomb. That didn’t make the job less boring, but it gave me a sense of purpose and a better emotional state.
So think: What would you have to focus on to move towards the mood you want? There’s always an answer. Find it and write it down.
A: “What Would I Need To ACT On To Feel The Way I Want To?”
Now that you’ve established what you need to focus on, you need to address what kinds of actions you need to take to build up that feeling. If you’re depressed and you want to feel happier, maybe you ask yourself, “How can I help 3 people today?” and you do something simple like send an encouraging email, or meet them for lunch, or just send $25 to a charity of your choice in someone else’s name.
Action is important because it’s extremely difficult to feel your way into a different way of behaving. You know this, or you wouldn’t be stuck in the first place. When you’re feeling scared or mad or depressed, you can’t just manufacture emotion to get yourself going.
But if you do something – if you take action – you can behave yourself into a different way offeeling. And it doesn’t have to be directly related to your own issue if that’s causing you friction. If you hate your life situation and you can’t figure out how to make it better, then focus on helping 5 other people feel better. Be an encourager, and that will help you pull out of that sense of depression. Trust me, it works, because it breaks your pattern of feeling helpless and connects you with other people.
But that’s just the start – it’s all well and good to take external actions to get your emotions jump-started, but you also need to get a sense of the actions you need to take relative to your own problems. In the FOCUS step you will probably come up with things you need to not only focus on, but actually do, and you need to make a list of those actions and start running with them.
Sometimes that’s hard to do – the motivation wanes – and that’s when you fall back on the FOCUS step again. It will help you get in a better frame of mind to take action.
Moving on, you’ll also need to ask yourself,
S: “What Would I Need To SURROUND Myself With To Feel The Way I Want To?”
This is an overlooked concept when it comes to mood change. Your surrounding environment plays a huge factor in your mood, and if you don’t consciously take control over it, you’re leaving power “on the table.” When you arrange your environment in ways that empower you, the chances of you keeping the mood you want to be in go through the roof.
Right now I’m writing this while listening to epic soundtrack music – I personally find that isolating my ears via headphones and keeping high-adventure music going keeps me focused and motivated. It’s hard to feel complacent when listening to instrumental tracks like “A Storm Is Coming” and “Rise of the Destroyers” are drowning your ears in epic symphonic goodness.
I know that this kind of music helps me kick ass, but you’ll have your own environmental triggers. Maybe it’s classical music or R&B, or maybe it’s just the silence of an empty room (or noise-cancelling headphones). Maybe it’s a clean desk, or maybe it’s a desk littered with action figures and crazy stuff. Maybe it’s wearing your favorite hat, brewing a certain kind of coffee or lighting some incense.
It does not matter what it is - it just matters that you become aware of it, and you leverage it to help create the emotional state you want. Whether it’s keeping the counters clean, making the bed, soaking in hot bath or cranking up Aerosmith, get a feel for what makes it easier to be in the moods you want to be in. Then make it easy to build that environment when you need it.
T: “What Would I Need To TELL Myself To Feel The Way I Want To?”
This is where it all comes together – the part where the rubber hits the road and you have to fight against the emotions you want to move away from. This is where the previous steps all kind of combine and you create this little script you can say to yourself, a litany of conscious choice, as it were, to recalibrate yourself when you’re struggling.
Maybe it’s something like this for the freaking-out-about-the-job-loss example:
“I’m ready to stop feeling scared and start feeling resourceful, and I’m going to make that happen right now. I’m going to focus on the resources I have, like the 50 past co-workers who can get me leads, the job boards online and the in-demand skills I can show on my resume. I have everything I need to make this crazy time less crazy and I know what to do next.
I’m going to make a plan for getting (or creating) the job I want and set aside 3 hours a day to take serious action. I’m going to neaten up my home office so I can think straight, and make it a relaxing place to work in the meantime.”
If you read this over and over again, what do you think would happen? Would you keep freaking out about your job? Or would you start feeling a little bit better?
Yeah, This Takes Some Work, But What The Hell Else Are You Doing?
Most people, if they’ve read this far, will say, “That’s too much work, Dave.” But seriously, if you’re paralyzed and feeling terrible, you have time on your hands already. You’re just using that time to stew in the emotion instead of making it finite and taking action. I know how it feels, I fight it all the time.
But this is a way out – or at least the beginning of the way out for you. And it’s easier than you think, because once you understand this process, 9 times out of 10 you won’t have to use all of it. You’ll just be sitting there stewing and say to yourself, “What would I have to focus on right now if I wanted to get my ass up and exercising?” or “What would I need to change about my surroundings right now to feel a little bit happier?” and that will be enough to get moving.
The quality of your life revolves around the quality of the questions you ask yourself on a minute-by-minute basis.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

I HAVE A DREAM Martin LutherKing

(January 15, 1929 - April 4, 1968) was a Nobel Laureate, Baptist minister, and African American civil rights activist. He is one of the most significant leaders in U.S. history and in the modern history of non-violence, and is considered a hero, peacemaker and martyr by many people around the world. A decade and a half after his 1968 assassination, Martin Luther King Day, a U.S.
holiday, was established in his honor.
I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.
five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity. But one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in fte midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is tSS languished in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. And so we've come here today to dramatize a shameful condition. id a sense we've come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall kir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the "unalienable Rights" of "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." 5 is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note, insofar as her titizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has
given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked “insufficient funds."
But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. And so, we've come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice.

We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of Now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.
It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. And those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. And there will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.
But there is something that I must say to my people, who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice: In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead
us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their
presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny.
And they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.
We cannot walk alone.
And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead.
We cannot turn back.
There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and
the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until "justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream."1
I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. And some of you have come from areas where your quest — quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive. Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed.
Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.
And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."
I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and
the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of
I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the
heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an
oasis of freedom and justice.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
I have a dream today!
I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor
having his lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" — one day
right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with
little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.
I have a dream today!
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain
shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be
made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it
This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with.
With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.
And this will be the day — this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning:
My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrim's pride, From every mountainside, let freedom ring! And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true. And so let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York.
Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of
Let freedom ring from the snow-capped Rockies of Colorado.
Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California. But not only that:
Let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia. Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee. Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.
And when this happens, when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:
Free at last! free at last!
Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Too Beautiful Not To Share

Anger is a condition in which
The tongue works faster than the mind .

You can't change the past,
But you can ruin the present
By worrying over the future!

Love...and you shall be loved.

God always gives His best to those
Who leave the choice with Him.

All people smile in the same language.

Everyone needs to be loved...
Especially when they do not deserve it.

The real measure of a man's wealth
Is what he has invested in eternity.

Laughter is God's sunshine.

Everyone has beauty
But not everyone sees it.

It's important for parents to live
The same things they teach.

Thank God for what you have,
TRUST GOD for what you need.

If you fill your heart with regrets of yesterday and the worries of tomorrow,
You have no today to be thankful for.

Man looks at outward appearance
But the Lord looks within.

The choice you make today
Will usually affect tomorrow.

Take time to laugh, for it is
The music of the soul.

Patience is the ability to idle your motor
When you feel like stripping your gears.

Love is strengthened by working
Through conflicts together.

Harsh words break no bones
But they do break hearts..

To get out of a difficulty,
One usually must go through it.

We take for granted the things
That we should be giving thanks for.

Love is the only thing that can be
Divided without being diminished.

Happiness is enhanced by others
But does not depend upon others.

For every minute you are angry with someone,
You lose 60 seconds of happiness
That you can never get back.

Do what you can, for who you can,
With what you have, and where you are.

Monday, March 23, 2009


Healthful Hints (The best health tips) 

They are effective and easy to follow.... many are based on recent research, while others were known in ancient times. But they have allbeen proven to be effective. So keep this guide close at hand and make the advice it offers a part of your daily life.

How to Fight Aging
Did you know that just walking for 30 minutes, 3 or 4 times a week is enough to combat aging?
According to researchers at the University of California, one of the principle causes of deterioration of the human organism's physical faculties is its diminished ability to metabolize glucose. And they showed that even leisurely exercise, like taking a walk, plays an important role in keeping glucose metabolism functioning smoothly.
Do you spend the whole day sitting at your desk or in front of a computer screen? Why not get up occasionally and do a few minutes of physical exercise? Don't worry about what other people think.
In some Japanese companies, it is even become a collective habit. Every twenty minutes a bell sounds, and everybody gets up to do some stretching exercises, after which they sit down againas if nothing had happened. Japanese managers are convinced that their employees are more productive when they are relaxed.

Are you anxious? 
Is worrying one of your characteristics? Well, stop! It is okay to
worry, but at the right time.
Psychologists at the University of Pennsylvania tell patients who
suffer from anxiety to regularly do a daily twenty minute “worry
session,” always at the same time and in the same place. Collect your
head full of worries during the day (don’t suppress them!) and then
pour them out during your daily worry session.
Exaggerate your worries to the point of absurdity - knit your
brows, make faces, let the sweat flow, shake and cower as much as
you like. In other words, make a caricature of the part of yourself that
is always worried, and in so doing exorcise it.
Eliminating worry will help prevent numerous psychosomatic
illnesses, which result from living in a state of permanent anxiety.

Care for your heart while you sleep 
In which position do you sleep?
If you sleep on your stomach or on your left side, you are putting
pressure on your heart with the extra body weight, while the heart has
to continue pumping blood as usual.
This additional burden wears the heart out more quickly. Think
about it - you spend more than one third of your life sleeping!
To reduce the strain on your heart, sleep on your right side, or on
your back. This simple technique will add years to your life.

How to avoid cancer caused by smoking 
If you smoke, you can greatly reduce the risk of contracting
cancer by drinking carrot juice. This according to the German Doctor
Hans Nieper, founder of Eumatabolic Medicine, a new alternative
mode of treatment which has become very popular in Germany. The
carotene found especially in carrots prevents and can even cure
Dr. Nieper states, “If you smoke 60 cigarettes a day but drink 4
glasses of carrot juice, you will still be less prone to contract cancer
than someone who doesn’t smoke but who doesn’t drink carrot juice.”
Of course, if you don’t smoke and do drink carrot juice all the better!

Avoid eye problems caused by T.V. and monitors 
The eye was not made to be constantly focused on close objects.
If your work requires that you stare at a computer screen all day long
or if you watch a lot of television, stop from time to time to do a few
eye exercises.
For example, roll your eyes in large circles in both directions;
look over to each side as far as possible and then go from up to
down; or scan an imaginary text on the wall from left to right; or look
out the window as far as you can following the horizon then return to
a point right in front of you and begin again.
In this way, you will avoid long term eye problems, you will
enlarge your inner space, and relax both your eyes and your mind.

How to beat asthma
Asthma partially obstructs the bronchial tubes, making breathing
difficult. The cause of asthma is still not known. But if you are an
asthma sufferer, you can, through natural means, considerably reduce
the number of asthma attacks you get.
A placebo study has shown that asthmatics who consume 1 gram
of vitamin C per day had 4 times fewer attacks. When they stopped
taking vitamin C, the attacks resumed with the same frequency as
before (Trop. and Geog. Med., Vol. 32, Mo. 2, 1980).
As for magnesium, it also works wonders! Dr. Zack H. Haddad
of the Faculty of Medicine at the University of Southern California
conducted a study on thirty children suffering from asthma associated
with allergies.
Twenty of them drank a daily amount of mineral water rich in
magnesium, while the others received no magnesium supplement.
After three months, the first group had a higher level of magnesium in
their blood, and they were able to breathe more easily.
So taking vitamin C and magnesium is an excellent way to
prevent asthma attacks.
But what can you do to breathe more easily during an attack?
Simply drink 2 or 3 cups of strong coffee. By activating blood
circulation, it eases respiratory blockage.

Losing weight: The Pakistani method
Pakistani women have an amazing trick they use to stay slim: they
keep a string permanently tied around their forearms. According to
Dr. Drupas, a gentle but constant pressure on the nerves in the
forearm stimulates certain glands, particularly those involved in
weight control (thyroid, suprarenals).
Why don’t you try it? Find two ordinary rubber bands and place
them around your right forearm, one third of the way up between your
wrist and elbow.
The rubber bands should exert noticeable pressure without cutting
off blood circulation and should not slip or slide when you move
your arm. This is not a tourniquet!
For best results, you have to wear the rubber bands constantly,
even at night when you sleep. It is also recommended not to wear any
other jewelry on the right arm.

What to do when you get something in your eye
Got some dust in your eye? Or some other irritant like an eyelash or
cigarette ash? You can use the following technique to help others as well
as yourself.
Before doing anything, make sure you don’t do what you absolutely
shouldn’t: rub or press the eye, lift the eyelid, or remove contact lenses
without washing your hands.
How to proceed?
· Examine your eye. Is it red? Swollen? Is it tearing? What do you
feel? Does it itch? Burn? Is your vision blurred?
· Let nature do its work - it is usually effective. Tears and natural eye
movements will usually get rid of the irritation.
· Try rinsing your eye with some warm water, or with drops. You
can pull on the skin around the eyes, but don’t touch the eyelid.
· If this doesn’t work, wash your hands, and then lift both the upper
and lower eyelids to locate the irritant. Is it on the inside of one of the
eyelids, or is it stuck to the eyeball itself? Pour some sterilized, warm
water on your eye to flush the irritant out.
· If you can’t locate the irritant or if the discomfort persists after you
have removed the particle, you would better consult a doctor.

A few tricks for treating insect bites
You don’t have to sit back and just passively put up with insects,
especially those that like to bite (mosquitoes, wasps etc.). Eat
asparagus and your sweat will develop an odor that repels insects. Or
apply lemon oil to your skin.
If you are bitten, there are natural substances to soothe the
irritation. Aloe vera has extraordinary powers of soothing skin
disorders. It is available in forms for both internal and external
application in most health and beauty stores.
If you have one of these amazing plants growing at home, cut the
tip off one of the leaves (the leaf will heal itself). Apply the pulp and
juice to the itching or swollen area.
Lightly boiled cabbage or leek makes an excellent analgesic
poultice. Of course, if you are hiking in the woods, you might have a
little trouble finding cabbage! Plantain also works well. Cut it and rub
it to get to the juice then apply it to the affected area.

How to get rid of liver spots
If you have liver spots, it is up to you to get rid of them.
May be you took too much sun, without using the proper
precautions like sunscreen, gradual exposure, etc. If you continue
ignoring your skin in this way, you might end up looking like a lizard!
Liver spots can also result from a thyroid deficiency. The thyroid
gland must therefore be stimulated through a variety of means. For
example, brown seaweed tablets: take one a day every morning, for
fifteen days a month.
Or apply a cream composed of 1 teaspoon oxygenated water and
4 1/2 tablespoons lanovaseline every morning and night.
Aloe vera (see previous chapter) is very effective in treating skin
disorders. Daily application of aloe vera over a period of time can
eliminate liver spots completely.
Also take a look at your nutrition: the real problem might lie in
what you do or don’t eat, like a diet too high in fat.

Treat diarrhea without medication
If you have ever been to a tropical country, you have probably
experienced diarrhea: frequent and uncontrolled evacuation of liquid
stool caused by bacteria in local water, milk or food.
Diarrhea can also be caused at home by excesses in diet (a diet
that is too rich) or an allergic reaction to certain foods or medication
or even by stress.
To treat diarrhea, avoid all solid food on the first day. Drink
liquids like water, apple juice, meat or vegetable boullion and tea.
These will compensate for your loss of water - dehydration being one
of the main dangers of diarrhea - and will give your intestines a
period of rest.
If you have stomach cramps, rub your hands together for about a
minute. Then place both palms on your abdominal region. The heat
will soothe the pain.
On the second day, eat small quantities of solid food. Among the
least irritating are cooked cereals (especially rice), biscuits and soft
boiled eggs.
You can also try charcoal. It comes in tablet or capsule form (you
can also get it off burnt toast!)
Chinese medicine has always considered ginger one of the best
remedies for diarrhea. Dilute a tablespoon in hot water and
add honey.

Use seaweed to stimulate your immune system
Japanese seaweed possesses remarkable immunizing properties,
especially in fighting cancer. Japanese researchers at the University of
Kitasato have discovered 6 kinds of seaweed which inhibit the
growth of colon cancer cells in rats, notably two types of Laminaria.
Laminaria extract has proven 70% to 84% effective in suppressing
intestinal tumors.
Wakame, another Japanese seaweed, is now familiar to many
Westerners, thanks to the arrival in the west of Japanese macrobiotic
cooking, which uses it a lot.
Pharmacologists at the University of Hawaii injected rats with an
extract of this substance. They found that the seaweed helped prevent
and cure cancer. The researchers claim that Wakame fights cancer by
activating and strengthening the immune system. It can be found in
most health food stores.

How to prevent motion sickness - naturally
Did you know that half a teaspoon of ground ginger is more
effective than chemical medication in suppressing motion or sea
sickness? And unlike most medication, it will not make you drowsy.
Ginger has been used in the Orient for centuries to prevent sea
Researchers asked subjects who were especially susceptible to
motion sickness to sit in a reclining chair that spun around at high
speed. All the subjects who ingested a well known medication or
who took a placebo experienced violent nausea and/or vomiting.
On the other hand, six of the twelve subjects who took ginger
twenty minutes before the test experienced no discomfort. They
consumed only 840 milligrams of ground ginger, which is the
equivalent of half a teaspoon.
The Japanese have a very curious method of treating all kinds of
motion sickness. They use an adhesive plaster to fasten an
“umeboshi” (a very salty fermented plum, available in most health
food stores in the West) to their navel. The idea may seem a little
strange, but what have you got to lose!

The anti-allergy vitamin
So much has been said in praise of Vitamin C. So it is not
surprising that it is also effective in treating allergic reactions like
We recommend taking Vitamin C in the form of ascorbate rather
then ascorbic acid. When taken in ascorbic acid form, it can cause
gastro-intestinal disorders.
To fight an allergic reaction, you should consume up to 8 grams.
5 grams are necessary, on average. Start with a dose of 3 grams.
Every three hours, take another 1 or 2 grams, until the symptoms
disappear completely.

How to prevent Flatulence (Aerophagy)
Aerophagy results simply from “eating” air. The condition is not
dramatically serious, but it does bloat the stomach and can prove
embarrassing (stomach gurgles, etc.)
How to prevent it? Above all chew your food properly and savor
it fully. Swallowing too much is a direct cause of aerophagy. So don’t
swallow needlessly.
Don’t drink a lot when you eat. Avoid tobacco and alcohol,
cabbage, radishes, doughy bread, strong spices and bubbly drinks.
Don’t eat food that is too hot or too cold.
And pay attention to the kinds of food you eat together: make a
note of any combination that seems to provoke an attack and avoid it
in future.

How to put an end to heartburn
Heartburn usually results from excess acidity in the stomach, or
from improper functioning of your digestive system.
At the point where the esophagus and stomach join, a special
muscle opens and closes the esophagus. When we swallow food this
muscle relaxes to let the food pass into the stomach after which it
closes again.
But it can happen that the muscle malfunctions. The contents of
the stomach then rise back up the esophagus, irritating the area. And
this results in the infamous feeling of heartburn.
How to stop it? Avoid acidic foods (lemons, etc.), alcohol, fat
or fried food, food that is overcooked, coffee, juice, tomato base
products and chocolate. But don’t deprive yourself too much. Rather,
observe which foods bring on heartburn and avoid them. Also, don’t
go to sleep right after eating (you should eat supper around 7 o’clock)
and don’t smoke, especially after meals.

A miracle remedy
If we offered you a miracle remedy that prevents cardiac disease,
certain types of cancer, diabetes, obesity, tooth decay and varicose
veins, would you buy it? Certainly you would.
There is such a product. But it is not a recent discovery and you
won’t find it in a pharmacy but at the grocery store. We are talking
about fiber.
A study conducted in Holland on 871 men, over a period of ten
years, showed that subjects who had a low fiber diet were three
times more susceptible to mortal disease - causes notwithstanding -
than those who ate a lot of fiber (Future Youth).
This said, it cannot be confirmed at present that fiber prevents
the above mentioned diseases in all cases. But there is conclusive
proof that they occur more frequently in populations with low fiber
diets which is precisely the case in the west.
According to The Lancet (the British Medical Journal) a diet
which contains at least 37 grams of fiber per day (the equivalent of
one cup of bran, one apple, one potato and a half cup of cooked
spinach) can effectively protect the organism against chronic illnesses
common to western society.
So fiber is useful in combatting many disorders
besides constipation.

Reducing your cholesterol
To reduce cholesterol:
· First cut down on saturated fats. To do this:
· Eat lean meat. Select lean cuts and ask your butcher to cut off
the fat.
· Drink skim milk instead of whole milk.
Do the same for all dairy products. Note that vegetarians have a
much lower cholesterol level (almost twice as low as average) which
is perfectly understandable, since cholesterol is only found in
products derived from animals.
· Alcohol - in moderation. Not more than two glasses a day.
However, it does appear that drinking a moderate amount of alcohol
raises the number of HDL lipids (the good ones!), which break down
cholesterol. (Moderation = two 4 oz. glasses of wine or two 12 oz.
· Do regular exercise, for example walking.
· Take Vitamin E. It reduces the risk of coronary disease.
· Calcium brewer’s yeast, Vitamin C and Vitamin B-6 also
combat the accumulation of cholesterol. And don’t forget lecithin,
which helps fight excess cholesterol, arteriosclerosis, hypertension.

Digest better
There is a plant for each type of digestion problem.
· AIGREMOINE is useful when the stomach problem is
accompanied by enteritis, diarrhea and/or chronic liver infection. It
helps tone a lazy digestive system. And it also helps regularize acidity
and soothe ulcers by improving metabolism.
3 or 4 cups a day. 3 1/2 to 4 tablespoons per quart of water.
· ANGELICA is a digestive, an aperitif, a stimulant, a tonic. It
decongests and soothes stomach pains and swelling.
Prepare an infusion (tea) preferably using the fresh plant: 3 1/2
tablespoons of roots per quart of water. If your stomach is very
swollen, prepare and drink 3 cups per day made of 5 tablespoons of
seeds per quart of water.
· ANISE is a soothing digestive. It aids digestion and the
elimination of intestinal gas, it soothes stomach cramps, aerophagy,
dyspepsia (contractions of the digestive organs, dizziness and a heavy
feeling after eating).
2 or 3 cups per day, after meals: 2 tablespoons of seeds per quart
of water.
· CAMOMILE: a digestive, sedative, anti-inflammation agent
and tonic. It helps painful or difficult digestion, stomach cramps,
gastro-intestinal spasms, loss of appetite, and it helps expulsion of gas.

Menstrual cramps - suffer no more!
To reduce the intensity of menstrual symptoms, you can change
your diet:
· Less sugar, and slightly more protein.
· Diuretic foods such as eggplant, cucumbers and parsley can help
diminish water retention.
· Calcium supplements (1 gram per day) and magnesium (500
milligrams) can help reduce anxiety (always take both).
· Vitamin B-6 (not more than 50 milligrams per day) can alleviate
symptoms of anxiety and tension.
· Vitamins E and C also help reduce the intensity of cramps.
· Aspirin has a mildly soothing effect.
· And once again you can turn to plants to relieve your pains:
* ANGELICA in infusion: 3 1/2 tablespoons of root per quart of
* MATRIX (derived from the Latin for womb): 2 teaspoons of
flowers per quart of water.

Stop catching colds
As much as possible, avoid coming into close contact with
infected persons, especially if they cough or sneeze.
A person with a cold is extremely contagious: he or she fills the
air with fine particles of saliva or mucous which transport the virus
microbe. Even if the person is careful to wipe his nose with tissue or
a handkerchief, the microbes will be transported to his hands.
And studies have shown that these viruses are transmitted through
hand contact. So if you have to shake hands with someone who has a
cold, you would better wash soon after!
What can you do if you do catch a cold?
It is useless to take antibiotics: they have no effect on viruses.
However, there are certain substances found in alcohol which help
decongest sinuses, that is why a good hot toddy can work wonders.
But take care of your liver: a toddy is just as good with a little rum as
with a lot.
You don’t have to get drunk to get better. You don’t even have to
drink it - just sniff some strong alcohol like cognac or brandy and
breathe in the fumes.

Use heat to cure
Everyone has heard about how good a sauna feels, and of the
relaxing effect of a steam bath which bathes you in hot vapor.
But there are other heat treatments which are equally beneficial.
Heat relaxes the muscles and ligaments. When applied locally, for
example, with hot towels, it can ease muscle spasms. It can also
reduce arthritic pain. Heat dilates the blood vessels, which in turn
activates circulation.
Applied to a wound, it can prevent infection by helping white
blood corpuscles and fresh oxygen surround the area more quickly.

How to combat fatigue
First make sure you are sleeping enough.
Is your nutrition sufficient? In general women need at least 1200
calories per day and men 1500.
Avoid monotony: a varied diet will be more likely to provide the
nutritive elements you need to conserve your energy.
The sensation of fatigue may be stress-related, especially when
you experience emotional stress. Do you feel tense at work or at
Lastly, don’t neglect physical exercise. Tired or not, get out in the
fresh air every day. Walking is the minimum effort necessary for
staying in shape.

Protect yourself against cancer
Radical liberals are not a political group, but a kind of very
active molecule that is suspected of being one of the causes of cancer.
How can you protect yourself? Diet plays an important role here,
especially in the absorption of anti-oxidants. The strongest
anti-oxidizing agent is Vitamin E, which is found in wheat germ oil
and sunflower seeds.
Next comes Vitamin C (oranges, grapefruits, lemons, red peppers etc.).
Beta carotene also absorbs large amounts of radical liberals.
This substance seems to act as a protecting agent against most types
of cancer.
Where do you find it? In red vegetables (like tomatoes), orange
ones (carrots), yellow (squash), and dark green (broccoli). All these
are rich in beta carotene. So make them a regular part of your menu!

Prevent high blood pressure
Research has shown that people whose diet is rich in potassium
(vegetarians for example) are less likely than others to develop high
blood pressure.
Calcium is also beneficial. Fortunately, potassium and calcium
are abundantly present in a large variety of foods.
Fruits, vegetables, beans, fish, fowl and lean meats are full of
Calcium is a little more restricted. Foods rich in calcium usually
also contain large amounts of sodium and fat, which can increase
blood pressure.
However, moderate amounts of milk are recommended, as well
as yogurt, almonds, bananas, grapes, broccoli, potatoes, beans, tofu
and sardines.

Iron strong health
Without iron, there would be no hemoglobin in the blood.
Hemoglobin gives red corpuscles their color. And it is the
hemoglobin that carries oxygen to all parts of the body.
If you lack iron, an insufficient supply of oxygen in your
hemoglobin will produce sensations of fatigue, headaches and
shortness of breath.
Men don’t have to worry too much: most men have a reserve of
iron stored in their body that could last 3 years !
But women, because of the menstrual cycle, need twice as much
iron as men.
And the amount is even higher for pregnant women. Vitamin C
doubles the amount of iron the body absorbs: so it is a good idea to
add a glass of tomato or orange or grapefruit juice to every meal.
On the other hand, tea reduces the amount of iron absorbed by
50% and coffee by about 39%.

Aging with a healthy body and mind
Did you know that sexual activity can keep you looking good as
you age? Studies conducted in Sweden have shown that elderly
people who have sexual partners have much more vitality and a better
memory than those who do not.
So don’t let your golden years deprive you of the pleasures of
sex !
Just forget about the obsession of having to “perform” - the final
result is less important than the stimulation itself.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The Flames of Love

"For you i have lived all these days, with my lips sealed"
"For you i have lived all these days, with my unshed tears"
"But in my heart, the flames of love"
"Have always been burning for you, only for you"
"Life has brought me..."
"A volume of old times"
"And i am surrounded by countless memories"
"Unasked i have now found all the answers i sought"
"Look, what i yearned for..."
"And what i got....."
"But in my heart, the flames of love"
"Have always been burning for you, only for you"
"How can i describe the cruelty of this world"
"I was ordered that i have to live but without you"
"Unwise are those who say that to me you are unknown"
"So many ordeals, were heaped on me by this world"
"But in my heart, the flames of love"
"Have always been burning for you, only for you"
""For you i have lived all these days""With my lips sealed""
"Only for you Only for you"


The Caravans of our dreams

"Just for tow moments, the Caravans of our dreams made a stop"
"And then you went your way and i went mine"
"Just for tow moments,existed the story of our hearts"
"And then you went your way and i went mine"
"Was that really you or was it a luminous sunbeam"
"Was that you or was it a blossoming bud"
"Was that you or was that the monsoon of my dreams"
"Was that you or was that a cloud of happiness"
"Was that you or was it a full blooming flower"
"Was that you or did i find a beautiful new world"

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The Paradox of Our Time

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. We've conquered outer space, but not inner space; we've done larger things, but not better things

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul; we've split the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less; we plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait; we have higher incomes, but lower morals; we have more food, but less appeasement; we build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication; we've become long on quantity, but short on quality.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships. These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.

These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology has brought this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to make a difference, or to just hit "Skip Ahead"...

" Tell them i Love them,then Hug them for me! "

Saturday, January 17, 2009

How were Destroyed Homosexual Peoples

PROPHET LOT (LUT) (peace be upon him) (لوت علیہ سلام)

The Advent of Prophet Lut(Lot):

The Prophet Lut (peace be upon him) was contemporary of Prophet Ibrahim (peace be upon him). He was a nephew and

follower of the Faith of his uncle. He was the resident of Ur, an ancient town in Mesopotamia God conferred prophethood

upon him.

He was commanded to leave his native land and go to Sodom and Gomorra to warn and reform the people who were

indulged in grave sins such as homosexual intercourse and robbery. The Holy Qur'an says:

"And Lut (remember) when he said to his folk: Will you commit abomination such as no creature ever did before. Lo! you

come with lust unto men instead of women. Nay, but you are wanton folk." (7:80, 81)

In another Verse the Holy Qur'an throws a light on the character of those sinning people. It says:

"What? Do you not come to males and commit robbery on the highways and do evil deeds in your meeting?" (29: 29)

The Prophet Lut Preaches and is Opposed:

The Prophet Lut (peace be upon him) was an alien to those people. He began to preach the religion of God energetically.

He advised the people to guard themselves against the punishment from God. He exhorted them to abandon sinful ways.

He told them that God had created woman for them to satisfy their lust. They did not listen to the admonitions of their

Prophet. They ridiculed and threatened him of dire consequences. They retorted that he would be expelled from that

town in case he did not stop preaching and rebuking them. The Holy Qur'an affirms:

"And the answer of his people was only that they said (to one another): Turn them out of your township. They are folk

who seek to keep pure." (7:82)

The same idea is expressed in the following Verses:

"They said: If you desist not, 0' Lut, you will soon be of the outcast. He said: I am, in fact, of those who hate your

conduct. My Lord! save me and my household from what they do." (26: 167-169)

Gradually time passed by and the Prophet Lut (peace be upon him) did not achieve remarkable success on reforming

those sinful persons. They were shamelessly addicted to grave sins and his warnings simply exasperated them.

Angels Appear as Guests:

One day three angels in the disguise of handsome young boys came to Prophet Lut (peace be upon him) and they

conveyed to him a special message from Almighty Allah. The Prophet Lut (peace be upon him) and his followers were

directed to leave the town because something very dreadful was going to happen. When the people got wind of the visit

of charming boys they tried to invade the house of Prophet Lut(peace be upon him) and demanded of him to deliver the

guests to them. The Prophet was much upset and he said:

"O' my people! Here are my daughters! They are purer for you! Beware of Allah and degrade me not in (the presence of)

my guests. Is there not among you any upright man ?" (11: 78)

They rejected this appeal of the Prophet and said:

"Well, you know that we have no right to your daughters and well, you know what we want." (11:79)

The Prophet was much disappointed and said:

"Would that I had strength to resist you or had some strong support." (11: 80)

The Angels Convey Message:

The Prophet Lut (peace be upon him) warned the people of the inevitable punishment in case they insisted on

committing indecency. They laughed and doubted his character. When all efforts were ended in smoke, the angels who

were in the form of human beings, said:

"O' Lut, Lo! We are messengers of thy Lord; they shall not reach thee. So travel with thy people in a part of the night and

not one of you turn round all save thy wife." (11:81)

The Prophet Lut is Delivered and his Nation Destroyed:

The Prophet Lut (peace be upon him) and his adherents left the city in the fagging part of the night and took shelter in a

place of safety. Soon after an uproar took place. A sudden tremendous noise shock the earth. It was a scary and

dreadful earthquake. The houses crumbled down and lofty buildings smashed to nothing but rubble. The rocks that went

up in the air hit those who tried to escape. All arrogant sinners were completely destroyed. The Prophet Lut (peace be

upon him) and his followers were saved but his wife could not survive because she sympathised with the sinners. The

Holy Qur'an gives a brief description of this mishap in the following Verses:

"Then the (awful) cry overtook them at the sunrise: And We utterly confounded them, and We rained upon them stones

of heated clay. Lo! therein verily are portents for those who read the signs." (15:73-75) The Prophet Lut (peace be upon

him) was admitted to God's